Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

I woke up today with a new reality. 

My life as a single Mom. 

I have been riding this roller coaster for far too long.

I’ve come to accept that my happiness matters.

I am standing up against myself and my daughter and taking control of my life. 

I believe in true love. I believe in fairy tales. I believe in respect. 

I believe in purging the unhealthy. 

While I choose to keep the intimate details private, 

I want to share with you where I am at.

I do not condone divorce. 

In fact, I am pro-marriage.

I am about never giving up. 

I am about second chances.

But there comes a time, when the battle wounds are beyond repair.

You are left with scars.

You have no choice but go a new direction and escape further damage.

One that is rich in blessings.

While I do not know what tomorrow holds,

I put my trust in knowing that things will work out for good.

What I will tell you is my marriage was built on sand,

never allowing us to build a firm foundation. 

We married for all the wrong reasons. 

I was fighting for something I never had to begin with. 

A beautiful baby girl came out of it, and that I will never regret. 

And today my friends, 

THAT is good enough for me. 

I understand this may come as a shock to many. 

I have been drowning in my unhappiness for too long and the day I took control,

I felt like a new women.

A happy women. A happy momma.

Thank you for your respect during this terribly hard time.

No matter what your views are, I hope that you can respect where I am at.

MUCH LOVE,

Lindsay 

Lindsay

Comments

  1. says

    I hope you really don’t feel like you have let anyone down! The people who matter to you, should want you and your daughter to be happy and safe.

    I’m sure this was an impossibly hard decision to make, and I give you props for doing what was best for you and your daughter. Many women never get the courage you have found at such a young age. I respect you for that!

    I wish you and your daughter all the happiness in the world. Ya’ll will get your fairytale ending–I know it. You are such a beautiful person (inside and out), and you deserve the best.

    Keep your head up and stay strong!

  2. says

    You shouldn’t feel like you let anyone down. You have to do what is right for you and most importantly what will make you and your sweet baby girl happy.

    I know it must be hard and it is challenging time. I can tell by the above message you have put everything into it then have come to a crossroads and chosen the path best fit.

    If you need an unbiased ear, shoulder to lean on I can be here to listen…

  3. says

    Be strong, mama. Divorce/separation is never easy. Now you’ll find out who your real friends are. The true ones you’ll come to value more than anything. And you might find out some things that will hurt.

    You have to do what’s best for you and your baby.

    It won’t be easy. But you will do what you have to do, and you’ll be OK.

    Also, it’s OK to grieve. When I got divorced, I was like “I asked for this, why am I crying?” But then you realize it’s that you’re grieving to loss of your dreams. The loss of the life you had, and thought you were going to have.

    But you’ll make it. :)

  4. says

    i’m so sorry, lindsay but i’m happy that you’ve come to a place of peace! God’s grace is sufficient. we’re not put here to please others as you very well know. as others have said before me, those who truly love you will never judge you. only offer their support and prayers – as i do :-) you are authentically brave and i admire you for that!

  5. says

    I just want to tell you that you could never let me down. Your blog was the first iv ever followed and the first i always read. I had my older son with a boy i only dated for 4 months. After having him i tried to make it work and couldn’t. Now he is 7 and hasn’t seen his dad in 2 years. Its hard to be a single mom, i feel for your pain. I’m sure your life won’t turn out like mine and I’m sure he will be in your daughters life but as a strong woman you will be fine in the end. I pray life gets better before it gets worse. Know you are in my prayers. I hope for the best.

    Love, Katie

  6. says

    im new to ur blog but wanted you to know that you seem like a stong woman and life sometimes gets in the way but you will find your way out and be happy!!!

    http:/justthe3ofus-mary.blogspot.com/

  7. says

    oh sweet girl, I can’t believe this is happening, I had no idea! i’m soooo sorry, I can say i’ve never been married, but I know how your feeling right now. I’ve been there! if you need to talk you can email me! prayers being sent your way! Single mommy knows right here. Been doing it for 7 years! love you !

  8. says

    I got tears reading your post today. It takes a very, very strong women to be so open about their life and I respect you for knowing where your happiness lies! Sometimes God just has different plans for us, plans we never knew existed or never thought about. You have to embrace your new plan and new life and live it to the fullest! You deserve it. I’ll be thinking about you sweetie ;-)

  9. says

    Dear friend, I don’t even know what to say because I can’t imagine the strength it takes to “announce” this to the world, and even moreso I can’t imagine the strength it takes to realize you want more, you need more, you deserve more, your sweet baby girl needs you to be happy, etc. I LOVE how so many bloggers who I adore (like you and Hanna) are opening up and showing the “real” you! What strength and encouragement you are! Please know I will be praying for you (and your family) every day as this new chapter begins. You are amazing! :)

  10. says

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your daughter. If you need anything, please let me know! You are so amazing and I look up to you so much!

  11. says

    Hi Sweetie. I have been reading your blog for a couple weeks now. I can tell you that nothing in this world is as important as your happiness and your faith in Christ. I was married, am now divorced. I whole-heartedly battled with the idea of divorce…I didn’t believe in Divorce, and always said that I would never be divorced. Well, never say never. The Bible says, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18, NIV). God wants us to be happy, and he wants us to submit to our husbands, but as my pastor explained to me, God wants us to submit to our husbands, As is fitting in the Lord (or in all things Holy). If the marriage isn’t holy, and if we aren’t happy, then we, as Daughters of Christ, have the ability to change that. I pray you find peace and comfort in God’s Word and your life.

  12. says

    This is beautiful. Please know that you are not alone – there are many faithful, wonderful women out there who have found themselves where you are now. You are loved and you and your daughter have a lovely future ahead of you. (hugs)

  13. says

    Ohhhh LIndsay. I just want you to know I LOVE you!!! You are strong, beautiful and kind, God will take care of you!!! Cling to that beautiful baby girl. You WILL make it through this!!! Sending all my love and light your way my frined!

  14. says

    This is such a brave, strong and beautiful post and I am praying for you and sending you as much love as I can through a comment!! I know God will keep you safe in his hands and give you the happiness you deserve. I’m so happy you are putting your trust in Him! I will be praying for you and am available by email if you need any specific or particular prayer! Much love! xoxo

  15. says

    oh sweet friend, my heart aches for you. I was a single mom too and I escaped an abusive relationship. It was so hard but God never left me and he won’t leave you. God protected me and my baby girl. I’ll be praying for you.
    Love, mel

  16. says

    Oh Lindsay I am so so sorry. :( How hard that must be. You are very strong and brave, and now, let’s hope and pray that your well-deserved happiness is right around the corner in your new life!

  17. says

    Lindsey! I am so sorry to hear that you’ve been drowning. I’m here for you, sister! You are so brave and you haven’t let anyone down. Love you!

  18. says

    My ex and I divorced before Christmas 10 years ago and although there were HUGE parts of it that sucked, it felt strangely liberating to know that I could the new year totally fresh. Sure, I was no longer a “Mrs.” but I learned who I really was that coming year and that in itself was a small gift to me. I will pray for you this Christmas that you will be given a strength that you never knew you could have.

  19. says

    Omg Lindsay I’m so sorry to hear about this, but I’m also so proud of you for doing something so difficult to make yourself and your baby happy. You need to do what’s right for you and for your little girl…whatever it takes. You are a strong, successful woman and a fabulous momma and you will get through this! Please let me know if there’s anything that I can do.

  20. says

    Oh Lindsay, my heart is just breaking for you! I’m sure this was an incredibly hard decision to make, and please don’t ever feel like you’re letting anyone down. I will be praying for y’all, and I know God is going to take care of you through this! Love you dear!

  21. says

    Lindsay, I’m so sorry about this heartbreaking time for you and Landyn. I wanted to encourage you with this verse…. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned …. Since you were precious in my sight, you have been honored and I have loved you.” – Isaiah 43: 2, 4

    Praying for peace, clarity, strength, wisdom and discernment as you move forward. xoxo ~Bri~

  22. says

    girl …

    i have no words and yet i have a million things to tell you. i will say this: while i may not have been a single mom, i struggled in my marriage the beginning of this year. big time. i chose to stay and fight for my marriage, but that was my decision and i love that you are choosing to stay positive through this time in your life. lots and lots of hugs. i will email you soon.

    <3

  23. says

    New to your blog and I have to say, all I see is a strong woman who has taken back control of her life. There are challenges that you face, but your faith in God will bring you through. Best of luck and prayers for you and your family.

  24. says

    I cried as I read your post today. I’ve actually read it more than once, cried for your broken heart more than once today. I’m so sorry friend. I know this must be a time of struggle as you figure out who you are as a single woman as a single mom. I’ve been there. And while it didn’t end in divorce, our struggles, the fighting, the bitterness made me wonder if happiness would ever exist. All that to say that I wanted you to know that I’m thinking about you and praying for you. I’m sad that you’re going through this. But I love you, your heart and your blog. If there’s ever anything you need, please let me know. Heart you girl!

  25. says

    Hello sweet friend. Been thinking of you. Praying for guidance, wisdom, strength, and courage as you turn the page to this next chapter in your life. You will make it through this. You are STRONG and He will make you stronger!
    Love and hugs!

  26. says

    My heart aches for you. Sending love, hugs. and prayers your way. You are an incredible person, and even more so an amazing Momma. Take it one day at a time. You will get thru this, He will make sure of it. Love and hugs to you friend.

  27. says

    “Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
    They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
    I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”
    Lamentations 3:22-24
    Praying this for you today.

  28. says

    Oh Lindsay!!!! i just saw this!! I have been completely MIA in “internet land” for about a week, but yours is the first blog that I came to!!!! I haven’t even checked my e-mail ;)

    I SO wish I was there to hug you, to stand by you, and to be a shoulder!!!!! You are SO AMAZING and strong!!!! And SUCH A GREAT MAMA!!!!!!! I am just an email away, if you need ANYTHING!!!! (Or a plane ride…hehe!!) LOVE YOU GIRL!!!!!!

  29. says

    you are so amazing and such an amazing mama. I know we dont “know” each other, but I have the utmost respect for you, and for the light that you continue to be during such a hard season. prayers for healing for you….love you!!

  30. says

    when I first found your blog, I automatically knew that you were special and you would teach me so much. and since then, I continue to be amazed by you and your incredible strength, dignity, and grace. you have been through so much and yet you have such faith and courage every day. you are one of the GREATEST examples to me that I have ever known. I am so so incredibly sorry that you have to go through all of this and have to now deal with being a single mother. I can’t imagine how hard that is physically, mentally, and especially emotionally. I pray for you that you will have the strength to get through each day with your sweet daughter. all I can say is you are amazing, you are amazing, you are amazing!! never forget that.

  31. Brianna says

    Lindsay, know you are not letting anyone down! I know exactly how you feel, I stayed in a relationship for fear of letting people down and I eventually married this man. Only months ago did I gain the strength and courage to stand up for myself and leave a very unhappy situation. Remember you will be stronger and better for this and one day you will look back and know you made the right decision for you and your daughter!

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