I stood there with pride. Confidence. Optomism.
I had my best foot forward.
The line was wrapped along the outside perimeter of the court house.
A single file line of other individuals, like me, that were at the fate of the California legal system.
I stood there, binder of important documents in hand.
Mom on one side. Grandma on the other.
With a brush of my hair, and a glance over my shoulder, there he stood. Suited up, and ready to go.
It was ON.
I immediately felt sick to my stomach.
I regained my composure, walked thru security, and went straight up to the 8th floor.
I didn’t look back.
It hit me at that very moment, my reality.
We were face to face with significant differences that were beyond resolution.
The grounds for a divorce.
Just like that, it’s all down the drain.
I sat outside our court room where my attorney was waiting.
Briefing me on the mornings events.
Us on one side, him and his company on the other.
You could cut the tension with a knife. You could feel the eye stares. You could hear the whispers.
It was a total out of body experience.
Something I could never in my life prepare for, or wish onto anyone.
The court room opened, and we all shuffled in.
The judge called attendance. It was grade school all over again.
We’ve come so far.
Lee vs Lee.
We proceeded forward.
Lies. Fabrication. Deceit. Anger. Back stabbing. Bullying.
He said. She said.
I’ve never felt so betrayed in my life.
Once the closest person to you, immediately your worst enemy.
Emotions were high.
Sitting before a judge, awaiting the fate of myself and my child.
Letting a judge tell US how we were going to raise our daughter.
Hands down, the worst feeling in the world…
You want to know something?
I knew I wasn’t alone.
HE was on my side.
I am good with it.
In a divorce, there are NEVER any winners.
You both leave their feeling defeated.
I gave up more than I wanted to Monday morning,
but this is HIS will.
It is still sinking in.
It’s been a full fledged grieving process.
It’s out of my control.
All I can do, is cherish MY time with Landyn and do my part.
Love on her and be the best momma I can be.
Time will heal. Lives will be restored.
THAT I do know.
Thank you for the continuous prayers, emails, comments, etc.
You all make me smile on a daily basis.
And thank you for allowing me this space to share my story.
I love you all.