In birthday’s past, I felt the need to pamper myself, and not feel an ounce of guilt.
In fact, I soaked it up.
This year, I shifted my priorities.
I wanted my 29th birthday to be all about Landyn. I wanted her to feel a part of mommy’s special day.
She led. I followed.
I woke up this morning with a slew of happy birthday wishes, and I smiled.
I smiled because May 7 floods my mind with happy thoughts.
My first puppy was gifted to me on this day.
Childhood memories where Mom and Dad would surprise me with a day at Disney Land.
The elaborate birthday parties.
My momma’s special gifts….something about even just the packaging, made my tummy flutter.
The days in High School where my best friends would make me feel like a celebrity for a day, wrap my locker, and shower me with balloons and flowers.
My 16th birthday. A license to drive AND a new car. I thought I ruled the world.
The birthday dinners at the beach.
My first drink at midnight on my 21st birthday with an old friend. Followed by many more…
The birthday love from my old co workers that I miss so much.
Surprise birthday parties.
With the events of the months past, I promised myself I wasn’t going to let this year be any different.
I was grateful that I had no where else to be today, but with my favorite girl.
So we packed up the car, and drove to the Malibu coast.
I blasted our feel good music, honked the horn through each tunnel as good luck calls, and glanced out the rear view mirror and bid 28 good bye.
The way I see it, my 28th year was a place of complete brokenness. My hope is 29 will transform me to greatness.
And 30, you linger as long as you possibly can, thank you very much.
I’ll continue to embrace the pain, truly feel it through the depths of my soul, and move on.
I recognize the importance of being broken, and I never want to loose sight of how this feels.
What I do know, is with age, comes experience. Experience builds character.
With that, I will embrace 29 and welcome it with open arms.
I will continue onward and watch as I grow into myself.
Today and forever, my priorities lie in the eyes of this little girl.
Watching her blow out my birthday candles tonight, was my perfect celebratory moment.