If you haven’t read part I, start here.
They say time heals. With every passing day, with every tick of that clock, wounds heal, and happy falls into place. Rewind to December 2011, and I wouldn’t have believed you. I was in the beginning stages of a divorce and certain I would never make it out alive. I felt emotions I’ve never felt. Pain I never knew. I lived for the moment and felt like I was drowning.
I would be lying if I told you the past six months have been easy. The reality is that we are all writing our stories, and have choices in life. We can let the pain swallow us alive, or we can let it fuel us and turn our negative circumstances into triumph. I have decided to take the latter.
I wasn’t always so optimistic though. Initially, I beat myself up over where I went wrong. I took all the blame. I bargained with him and myself. I isolated myself from the world. I sought counseling and entrusted in the advice of family and friends, because it seemed like the natural thing to do. I was being ripped in a million different directions and at the mercy of everyone but myself. The pain I felt during this time is truly indescribable, and will resonate with me for the rest of my days. In no way do I ever wish to put myself, or my child(ren) in such chaos again. In no way will I ever cut myself short or go into a marriage without having my whole heart in it for the long haul.
It’s funny this thing called life. No matter what turmoil we are in the midst of, life has a way of moving on. We can drown in our sorrows and let life pass us by, or we deal with it the right way. What truly started that initial healing process for me was writing. I had many late nights after Landyn went to bed, where I would sit in my dark room, blank computer screen, and just type. Some I posted, others are still sitting as drafts, but it was therapy. It was an emotional purge and there was nothing more freeing than speaking your hearts desire without needing the approval of others. It was hard to be vulnerable and put my story out there, but I knew being transparent through this whole process was the only way to be true to myself. I wanted my community to know the real me without feeling sorry for me. I think by focusing on the good, I was able to steer clear of the pity.
Eventually, I was able to unravel my reality and realize that no situation is ideal. We all face storms in life, and it’s how we handle it, that will determine the outcome. I began to accept my life, and started to feel more confident than I ever did in my marriage. I gradually regained my independence and proved to myself that yes, I can do this. I opened myself up to change. I met new people, embarked on new experiences, created a new life. I trusted that there was a plan in all of this, and things would come together full circle for good. I now know what I want, and it will be all things beautiful.
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the best is yet to come!! xoxo ~ kristi
Hi, I have been following your blog for quite some time now and I for one know what you are going through. Although I was never married, I was with my ex for 3 years and we have a beautiful son together. I went through a long span of depression but I can say that it does get better. I still have bad days but everytime I wake up and see my son I forget my sadness and try to stay positive. I know its hard but it seems like you are doing a great job!
So glad for you!
xx
This post makes me happy for you. Yes, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Although…you will always feel some pain over divorce….you will over come it all thriving and living a purpose driven life. The best is yet to come. xoxoxo
You have come a long way baby! When I first started reading your blog I was really worried about you but now that a little time has passed I think you are beginning to see the end of the tunnel. Take your time and God will lead you to happiness. I love to see you smile!
oh love you are so brave and strong! you’re doing an amazing job moving forward with your life and staying positive and i am so proud of you!!!
Love you girl! So inspired by your willingness to hold your head high, and move forward. God has great things for you and Landyn ahead! x
Loved this post Linds:) xoxooxo H
beautifully written and i’m so glad you were able to see the positive in your situation! hugs
What a great post and outlook you have. Best Wishes! (Stopping by from SITS)
You are FABULOUS! I found your website because I love Shabby Chic. I love to see what others make. A die hard DIY girl!!! Then I read this wonderful story. You are on the postive track. You are helping others everywhere when they read your blog. So keep writing. Writing is freeing. I have been writing all my life. You can let everything go. I am so glad I read your story it made my day change. Best to you…and thank you….Angela
I know exactly what that indescribable pain feels like… I have been in it for the last 10 year, I have finally done what I needed to do soooo long ago, thank You so much for your inspiration, it is nice to see that I’m not alone!!!
Hi Lindsay, so glad to see your life is finally turning around for you. I just wanted to say thanks for your inspiration. I have been separated for a year now and I feel like I am in a different world completely, but I still have difficult days. I’m so grateful to have happened upon your blog almost one year ago, you have enspired me to write my own blog and find happiness is being me. Thank you so much!
Bri