We are a week shy of Landyn’s 3rd birthday, and time has been weighing heavily on my heart. I’ve spent time this week deep in my iPhoto archives marveling at growth over the past 3 years. Growth for Landyn as she metamorphosis into a beautiful little person, but also growth for me as a mom. My face tells a story in those first few months as Landyn’s momma. I was a roller coaster of emotions and faced with a steep learning curve. I think it wasn’t until I completely opened my heart to the situation and embraced my new role, that my life changed. I was transformed by the love of a little being and granted the protector of a precious heart.
In the past 3 years, I’ve seen myself grow into my role as nurturing, patient, loving momma. I have stretched myself emotionally, mentally, and physically. I fall in love with my girl a little more each day. I’m left asking why I didn’t listen to that infamous one liner that everyone so willingly promised… “enjoy it, for it goes so fast” … Instead I looked at them in complete disbelief. There is no greater truth my friends…I promise.
headband: A Little Lady
And then there’s the events of this past year. My mommy guilt sets in, and I wonder if I truly cherished every moment with my baby girl. Could I have done things better? Was I simply in survival mode and did time pass me by? Did I give motherhood my whole heart? I’ve found the answer to that is ”I did the best I could”. I embarked on a path that was a little different than I expected, painful at first, but provided clarity and growth and eventually secret passages that led to far more beautiful things. I am slowly learning my role in this world. I’ve been climbing a steep mountain with voices in my head telling me “you will never get there” and “your a failure”… but eventually that uphill battle peaks and your lookout brings with it complete clarity and growth.
I guess what I am trying to say is time is fleeting. No matter what balls are thrown your way, life carries on. Time passes. Our children get older. I am learning my new role and owning it. Yes, this situation is far from ideal. It sucks the life out of me most days. But my story is continuing and my canvas has room for much more paint. And while this experience has rooted itself in my mind forever, time heals, and I see it as a reminder in what I want moving forward.
mustard bloom pillow: Jilly Bean Craft
Go slow time. Go slow.
Your little girl has such a sweet face. Greetings from Belgium
crazy how time really does fly! wish i could just sit in the moment more often, wishing landyn a sweet third year!
happy almost bday to your sweet little girl!
Wow this brought me to tears. My daughter is also almost 3 and I have so many of the same conflicting feelings. I so needed to hear this after a long day. Thanks Lindsay and happy early birthday to Landyn!
Your a wonderful mam Lindsay. Don’t EVER forget that! Landyn is so beautiful. I can;t belive she;s already 3. Time is fleeting!!!!
Time does pass too quickly! And I find myself soaking up my kids like never before. When mine were younger I lay in bed every night feeling guilty like I could have done better. Like the day just went way too fast and I needed a bit more time to get it right. I try my best to always let them know they are loved and that everything I do is to protect them. To make their lives better! I know you are doing that too!
Hugs Linds!
Hang on to every moment as you know it really goes fast. And I think we all wish we had certain moments back but I guess that is life. You are doing great and keep up the good work. Only time will tell how be did but if you ask for God’s help you can’t go wrong.
Don’t look like an angel when they are sleeping? I always thought that God put another baby in the bed because of how much they change from day to day.
God Bless
Time is never so precious as when you are seeing your children grow. Wish I could slow it down every day. You are a beautiful mama!
I honestly believe that there are no truer words spoken “enjoy it, for it goes so fast”…it’s over used but my goodness, SO SO true! I can’t believe I have a 6.5 and 2.5 year old! It actually saddens my heart as I type that!
Although each stage brings its own joys, milestones and triumphs (and tantrums! 
) they really do not stay babies for long! 
This post was absolutely beautiful! You are an amazing Mommy and although I don’t know you in real life, I have no doubt that you are equally as amazing in person as these words you type! 
Sending love and prayers for you and Landyn, each and every day!
Oh Lindsay, this post brought me to tears! You have the most precious little girl!
Oh, it does go too fast. I always flip through pictures right before my kids bdays too! Always makes me miss the years that have passed and the guilt seeps into my consciousness that I didn’t value the time. I always try to keep it in mind but sometimes life gets the best of you. I guess little reminders like pics are a good thing. I hope you all enjoy a nice birthday together! Happy Sharefest from SITS!
I found your blog through SITS, and I have to tell you, I’m tearing up!
I can completely and totally relate to this post. You summed up so many mommy feelings so perfectly. My little girl turns 9 months tomorrow, and every time I look through her newborn photos, and just the past 9 months, I cant help but feel how fast it all went! How am I going to feel when she’s your daughter’s age too??
I think you made a great point in doing the best you could. You’re a wonderful mama if you do the best you can for your child. That’s what we’re asked to do..our best
So, so glad I found your blog and got to read this!! Happy Saturday!